Wednesday, September 16, 2009

China home

Zoe has traveled a great deal more than the average 3 year old. We try really hard, sometimes I think maybe too hard, to maintain some routines in her life. We stick to a nap schedule and bed time pretty religiously. We take time to just be the 4 of us even when we are in the middle of events with our extended family. We try to isolate ourselves from the pressure to do things with people when we sense Zoe and Esther’s spirit’s becoming confused and hurt.

When we travel, at each new location we try to set up one area as our base, and give it a special name. When Esther was born in Thailand, we called that our “Thailand house”. When we had to go to Bangkok for me, we called that our “NEW Thailand house”, we call our home our “China house”, and have been referring to my parent’s house for the last year as the “Ray farm”. Matt’s parent’s house is simply “Grandpa and Grandma’s”. But when the confusion sets in, or bedtime gets pushed off… the tears come. And she says…

“no mine LIKE Mamercica! Mine want to go to mine CHINA HOUSE!”

No amount of reason or discussion can convince her of the futility of such a wish.

I just hold her close, and tell her I understand, and I miss our China house too. We will travel a lot more, and then, soon, we will get on another airplane for a really long time, and THEN, we will go “home”.

But someone knows where home is. And that comforts ME for the future. Our little girls are not missing out on anything, really! Matt and I are the only ones in our little family who feel any sense of lose for “Mamercica”. If home is where your heart is, then Zoe would tell you home is in our “China house”.

1 comment:

mama said...

Our little Zoe. She is such a trooper. I am amazed and in love with her depth of character...who she is...the unique sweetheart she is. May the Lord bless her with a spirit of peace during these transition days...I am so blessed she is "mine grandaughter!"