Friday, April 10, 2009

Bondage

One of my favorite evening pastimes in Thailand is the night markets. Color, lots of sweat. Yummy street food. Loud bargaining for all kinds of brand name fakes, and other little thingies. I REALLY like them. Usually they are fairly clean, family friendly sort of places.

We found a new market, and took a little trip over there a couple nights ago.

This one was a little different. Right along next to the booths ran a little street full of strip clubs and bars. With open double-wide doors. Nothing left to the imagination. People yelling lewd things toward my precious little Zoe. They didn’t mean any harm. But they don’t have the eyes to see how lost their jaded hearts have become.

Once we realized how bad the area was, we made our way into the inner jungle of the market. Winding our way through, looking for a taxi.

It is starting to wear on my brain. I never really know if I am talking to a man or a woman. Even the most convincing pretty girl can turn out to be the opposite. A man with breasts is totally normal. My heart bends, and twists inside me, and I stop thinking about my silly issues, and think about what his/her life must be like.

I was in the middle of haggling with a sales he/she over a purse for my sister. Matthew came over as I was closing the deal and dragged me away. “I just can’t buy from someone with that kind of spirit”. How do we show the love of the father in such a short amount of time, in a country that is not our own?

How can I look you, man, or woman, in the face, and somehow give you a sample of the love I have tasted? I wish I could reach across language barriers, and know you get it. I wish I knew that the Spirit that is upon me was strong enough that you felt it. How my heart breaks for you, child of God.

3 comments:

mama said...

Oh, Hallie. Through your words, I feel that I am right there, experiencing the same emotions. How the Father's heart must break continuously for the darkness in our world. How easy it is for me to be in my safe home, safe world, and forget about the enormousness of the sin that permeates this world. Thank you for reminding me, for making my heart cry too, for those you are seeing. - mom z

Grace said...

Hi! I found your blog through Katie's and I think that I actually have met you. You are friends with Alyssa Cunningham right?

Well, either way, I wanted you to know that I'll be praying for you. What a hard thing to deal with.

Alyssa said...

Oh, my dear, passionate, loving friend! When I read this I felt such a tightness, such a pain for you and those your heart went out to. I lift you high tonight. I love you!